My simple thought about life right now and what I am going through...

As most of my co-workers and friends might know me as someone whose very strong, sweet and at times bold. The feelings I hold inside about people I care about are very strong and I've come to a point in my life where I feel very weak. Lets put it this way and just cut to the chase, I am in love with one person, care about the other and simply enjoy the third ones company at all times. This may be wrong,maybe not depending on how you view it (put yourself in my shoes..) point is... what do I do? What did i do to get here... Maybe I am too friendly to several people and not only do they like it but me myself and I as well. Knowing there all there here at all times, and I spend time with them and they all know about each other makes me feel good, but at the end who do I stay with...and I think to myself... should I date each one of them? hmmm maybe? and If i do...I might lose the other ones friendship. So do i start with the one im in love with...because if I do..I might just end up staying with him.I am speaking from a greedy pov now...I dont want none of them to ever stop talking to me, there is special qualities in them I like. Knowing that there is a chemistry in between me and those three individuals scares me, I get jealous when they talk to other woman, this isn't normal. Anyhow there is a fourth person in the picture, I think he has all the things I have ever wanted in a man but he seems to just want nothing but a simple fling and then continue to do himself. We understand each other almost in every level and not to mention we dated before but stopped talking for a while. I don't want to approach him,but neither do I want to stop talking to him. If hes reading this, it might be too late when i start talking to the three other guys who care about me...

I've had flashbacks of the great times and read old e-mails, how can someone stop loving someone so fast?..........hmmm I know I cant. I thought it would be something I wouldn't encounter ever again, but even thinking that he was one here...gives me butterflies...do i move on? maybe ill just wait. I'll be good and continue to be good, where does this leave me with my 3 guys? I guess I have to distance myself from everyone to see what I really want from them. This is a scary thought...but can someone really be in love with two men in the same time?