poems about you..to my last boyfriend..

This is you..

I don't know where this is heading but i know what i'm feeling

and everytime you call I smile and my heart skip a beat
I can't believe this is happening again
I have to admit that i'm falling
for someone who I shouldn't be
but thats always been me
my heart always desires a challenge
i'm not sure if i'm ready for this
and i'm not even sure of what to do
Friends tell me to stay away from you
Cuz you'll hurt me in the end
but hey my heart hurting is a trend
Still afraid of whats to come
and contemplating whether i should stay or go
but my answer always end up "i dunno"
and there i go back in your room
layin in your bed, kisses and cuddles
what else can be said
except that ur adorable wtih ur glasses on
and when u look at me i can't help but give into
what you need
I pray i make the right decisions
ones that won't make my heart bleed

Lessons Learned

Used to worry about everyone's happiness except my own

Now I focus on me and my first born

No more dwelling on what could happen

It's not even my concern

Time to let go of the past

And take the struggles and pain as lessons learned

A weight lifted off my shoulder and I feel free

Of the chains that held me

Neglected to see the signs and created my own reality

That would've ultimately trapped me for eternity

So what ever happened to sincerity?

Diverse Emotions were just that

"Alphabetical figures that only existed in words" that never formed

Taking the present as what it is

Only trusting in my instincts and my word

Again another lesson learned

The "love" that I've had couldn't have been real

How could it be if all they did was hurt me?

Each one bruised my heart deliberately

They would say it's not true but it happened

Over and over continuously

Empty promises that one day it will stop

Now I've come to my senses and as the

Calluses on my heart continue to form

I will no longer mourn

And take it all as lessons learned

My simple thought about life right now and what I am going through...

As most of my co-workers and friends might know me as someone whose very strong, sweet and at times bold. The feelings I hold inside about people I care about are very strong and I've come to a point in my life where I feel very weak. Lets put it this way and just cut to the chase, I am in love with one person, care about the other and simply enjoy the third ones company at all times. This may be wrong,maybe not depending on how you view it (put yourself in my shoes..) point is... what do I do? What did i do to get here... Maybe I am too friendly to several people and not only do they like it but me myself and I as well. Knowing there all there here at all times, and I spend time with them and they all know about each other makes me feel good, but at the end who do I stay with...and I think to myself... should I date each one of them? hmmm maybe? and If i do...I might lose the other ones friendship. So do i start with the one im in love with...because if I do..I might just end up staying with him.I am speaking from a greedy pov now...I dont want none of them to ever stop talking to me, there is special qualities in them I like. Knowing that there is a chemistry in between me and those three individuals scares me, I get jealous when they talk to other woman, this isn't normal. Anyhow there is a fourth person in the picture, I think he has all the things I have ever wanted in a man but he seems to just want nothing but a simple fling and then continue to do himself. We understand each other almost in every level and not to mention we dated before but stopped talking for a while. I don't want to approach him,but neither do I want to stop talking to him. If hes reading this, it might be too late when i start talking to the three other guys who care about me...

I've had flashbacks of the great times and read old e-mails, how can someone stop loving someone so fast?..........hmmm I know I cant. I thought it would be something I wouldn't encounter ever again, but even thinking that he was one here...gives me butterflies...do i move on? maybe ill just wait. I'll be good and continue to be good, where does this leave me with my 3 guys? I guess I have to distance myself from everyone to see what I really want from them. This is a scary thought...but can someone really be in love with two men in the same time?